Skip to main content

Confession of a fallen angel

There was nothing extraordinary or romantic in the way those two met. No intriguing online dating, no crazy friends party and not even cheeky meek smile in a pub or supermarket. He met her on a usual cold winter day at the most common and yet the most inappropriate for any romance place. And they actually haven’t thought of any kind of romance between them. Still… they managed to get together.

He was special for her and she loved everything about him. Well, almost everything… Nobody is ideal at the end of the day!
He…. He loved her too, even though he was never brave enough to admit it. He considered her being a bit moody but he thought he knew her and understood her… But did he really?

Could he possibly know whether she was his little Angel or a Belial? Could he even guess what was on her mind in those minutes of silence? Did he wonder if she ever lied to him? Who was she with when he wasn’t around? Did he meet her to become finally happy or turn his life in to more misery? And will he suffer when she leaves him...?

No, she didn’t want to leave him, but her mind was so fickle. She was afraid of herself, of her own reality, her feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but she knew that love hurts and feelings are disturbing. She taught herself not to be attached to memories, places, people…. And now, when she met him, her world has turned up side down. She loved him, but she didn’t believe in eternal love. She wanted to set him free but she was too possessive for it.
She lived double life, followed double standards, deceiving everyone, deceiving herself… Yes, her life was full of contradictions, but now she knew one thing for sure - she needed him and she wanted to become a better person, be content, to make him happy. Yet, will she be able to achieve it or her dark side is going to take over at the end? Is she a hero or villain of the novel? Nobody knows. I can’t wait to get to the end of the book.

Comments

Anonymous said…
We all go through this suffering, and you have to wait and wait to come to the end by turning the pages of your book.
Everyone has only 24 hours, do what you really like/wish to do.
13 September 2011 at 05:02
Alex Shemshurenko said…
Very nice story , lyrical and romantic and mystical.
You are really improving.
13 September 2011 at 10:05
Anna Kei said…
For the first comment.... I think you misunderstood the idea. This piece is not about suffering, but about changes, complications and most of all - happiness :)
For Alex Shemshurenko - thank you :) I always appreciate your feedback ;) x
13 September 2011 at 11:59
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Loneliness in the city

Many people dream about living in a capital… But what is hidden behind the life in a megalopolis and is it that sweet as it seems? People literally dissolve in the furious pace of the city: a bustling, traffic, mobility, and you - just a grain of sand, which is caught by this whirlwind and directed in a given order. No time to stop once to think... Urgent need to run somewhere all the time... No time for socializing, but for fleeting chatter. Enough time for sex, but not enough for love. You manage to establish business contacts, but you can’t help a friend. No time to even think about that you are alone. London is one of the largest and the most attractive capitals in the world. It brings so many colors and opportunities starting from employments, magnificence of sightseeing and architecture to an interesting and eventful life full of new impressions and acquaintances... It is all true. However there are pitfalls. It is an interesting fact that the highest percentage of lonely single
7 comments
read more

I am just 25 and I am allowed to think about love...

Determined man is not able to love. Determined man always lives purposefully. He can make money, career, but he can’t love, because love has no purpose. It is not an object of consumption. We can’t save it, we can’t buy it, and we can’t use it to enhance our ego. Love has neither purpose nor meaning; it exists by itself. The calculating, always logical, reasoning in terms of goals person can’t love, because he or she is always in the future, but never here and now. Love is always here, there is no future. That's why love is so close to meditation and death. They are all matter only in the present. However, some people are just scared of love. It makes them depressed, they scared to lose their mind, and they scared to lose their freedom or maybe they just scared of changes. At the end of the day what is love? We can assure ourselves that we love someone unconditionally, eternally, but it would not be true. Nothing is unconditional; nothing lasts forever. Strange … as older I become
4 comments
read more

Uzbekistan: reforms to privatization and commercialization and all the way back to command economy

Uzbekistan's transition to market relations determined the state policy in forming and development the class of real property-owners, but in recent years the government decided that this system doesn’t work for Uzbek society. On the first stage of reforms the government was working towards the privatization of state housing fund, small and medium trade enterprises, service, light and food industries, transport and construction. All these formed 52268 owners of trade, consumer services, public catering, and consumer cooperation entities. At the second stage the privatization formed 2 million shareholders of privatized enterprises, 3 million owners of personal household plots, 85 thousand owners of private and small enterprises and 14 thousand of real estate owners. Last, the privatization of industrial giants such as fuel and energy complex, chemical, metallurgical and machine-building industries is conducted, and it's carried out with wide attraction of foreign capital. Howeve
6 comments
read more